Reclaim Your Self-Worth in the Midst of Everyday Life
So often the topic of self-worth comes up and it’s a topic we don’t really know what to do with. It’s easy to feel like everyone else has a sense of inner confidence, a belief in their own value, while you’re left wondering, “How do I get there?” Building self-worth and confidence is not about grand gestures or perfection; it’s about finding a deep, quiet belief in yourself that grows from within. Let’s break down the core of how to build self-worth in ways that aren’t about doing more, but about seeing yourself differently and allowing your confidence to grow naturally.
1. Recognizing Your Intrinsic Value: Seeing Worth Beyond What You Do One of the biggest shifts in building self-worth comes from recognizing that your value is not tied to what you achieve, accomplish, or produce. Society often encourages us to measure ourselves by our output—the roles we fill, the checklists we complete, and the things we can do for others. But what if your worth isn’t something that needs to be earned?
Self-worth starts with realizing that just by being here, by being you, you are worthy. Start by reframing how you see your value: focus less on what you do and more on who you are—your kindness, your resilience, your curiosity. Something to try is each day, write down one thing you value about yourself that has nothing to do with productivity. It could be your empathy, your strength, your humor, etc. This daily practice helps reinforce the idea that you’re valuable simply because you’re you. I recommend doing this either right before bed so your subconscious mind can process it or first thing in the morning so you start your day on a positive footing.
2. Identifying and Challenging Limiting Beliefs: Releasing the Stories that Hold You Back Self-worth often gets tangled up in beliefs we carry about ourselves—often formed over years, sometimes from childhood experiences, cultural expectations, or relationships. Common limiting beliefs might sound like, “I’m not enough,” “I’m always falling short,” or “I don’t deserve more than this.” Identifying these beliefs is a foundational step in building true confidence.
Take time to recognize when these thoughts arise. When they do, ask yourself where they might come from and, most importantly, if they’re truly valid. Often, these beliefs are old stories, NOT TRUTHS. We just slowly start accepting them as truths even though they are not. Challenge each one by finding evidence to the contrary. When you start questioning them, you begin to free yourself from these constraints. Self-worth grows when you stop letting limiting beliefs define who you are and instead allow the honest truth to guide you.
3. Embracing Imperfection: Finding Confidence in Growth, Not Perfection One of the biggest barriers to confidence is the need to do things perfectly. But real confidence doesn’t come from being perfect or getting it done perfectly; it comes from being willing to show up, imperfections and all. Embracing imperfection means allowing yourself to try new things, make mistakes, and learn without harsh self-judgment. Failure is part of growth. Every failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. Perfection serves no-one. Think about this, if a toddler learning to walk falls down do the parents just throw their hands in the air and say “well they failed. I guess they’ll never be a good walker.” No, they encourage them to try again. The same proves true here too. This is where confidence is built.
Confidence builds each time you take a small step, even if it’s not perfect, because it shows you that you’re capable and resilient. For example, if there’s something you’ve been putting off because it feels daunting or you’re afraid you’ll mess it up, consider taking one step toward it, no matter how small, and only focus on that one step, not the whole big thing. This mindset shift is powerful because it creates self-trust. Each time you move forward despite the fear, you reinforce the belief that you’re stronger than you might give yourself credit for.
4. Cultivating Self-Respect: Setting Boundaries, Accepting Accountability and Honoring Your Needs True self-worth is deeply tied to self-respect, which is why setting boundaries is so essential in building both confidence and a sense of personal value. Many of us have been conditioned to give without limits, especially if we feel that our worth is tied to how much we can offer others. However, constantly overextending ourselves often leads to burnout, resentment, and an internal message that our needs don’t matter. We have to hold ourselves accountable to only take on what we really want/can to take on and let go of needing others approval and saying yes in order to earn it. You need to be 100% accountable to yourself. If you say yes to something then you are accountable. So if it is something you really don’t want to or can’t do, simply say no. And no can be a full sentence. Say it however you are comfortable but it’s important to start getting comfortable saying no. When we take things on because of wanting to please someone else we become people pleasers and often leave ourselves behind, overwhelmed, exhausted and not operating as our best selves. You can do this. You are worthy.
Start small: identify one area where you’re giving too much at the expense of yourself, and set a boundary around it. This might mean saying no to an extra responsibility or carving out time in the week for something that nourishes you. Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out; they’re about showing respect for yourself. When you set and honor these boundaries, you reinforce your sense of worth by demonstrating that your needs and well-being matter.
5. Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences: Building Confidence Through Connection Who we spend time with has a profound effect on how we see ourselves. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, who value growth, and who encourage you to be your true self can be transformative in building self-worth. A supportive circle doesn’t have to be large; sometimes, even one or two people who genuinely see and believe in you are good solely because you are you and who help you strive for the best you.
If your current circle feels draining or lacks depth, consider looking for spaces—whether online communities, groups, or local meetups—where people gather to support each other’s growth. Confidence grows when you feel understood and appreciated by others who value who you are, not just what you can give. Remember, self-worth isn’t about doing life alone; it’s about feeling like you’re surrounded by those who celebrate and encourage you. If you are interested you can check out the free Her Path to Purpose group here.
6. Taking Responsibility for Your Own Validation: Learning to Trust Yourself First Confidence and self-worth flourish when we stop looking to others for validation and start cultivating it within ourselves. Seeking approval from others can make us feel worthy temporarily, but it’s often fleeting. To build lasting confidence, focus on becoming your own biggest supporter. Next time you find yourself doubting a choice or looking for external validation, pause and ask, “What do I think? What feels right for me?” When you begin making decisions based on your own values and desires, you’re affirming your worth. This practice builds inner confidence because you’re telling yourself that your opinion, your preferences, and your intuition matter.
Growing Self-Worth One Choice at a Time Building self-worth and confidence isn’t a quick fix; it’s a journey that unfolds choice by choice. Each time you choose to see your intrinsic value, question limiting beliefs, embrace imperfection, set healthy boundaries, seek positive influences, and trust your own voice, you’re reinforcing your worth. Self-worth is cultivated from within, but it’s also a gift that grows every time you honor and respect yourself.
So here’s to the steady, small steps of building confidence. Here’s to believing in yourself not because you’re perfect, but because you’re real, you’re resilient, and you’re worthy exactly as you are.
